He was wanting my input on whether to stick it out, what he could do to change their hearts, or whether to go onto active duty. The really sad thing is this is a man I would be honored to have as my pastor. Kind, faithful, and a down to earth kind of guy. There are lots of issues going on, but the truth is proclaiming God's Word flies in the face of some people, even some of those who belong to a church. It seems his trouble started when he counseled a couple living together that they should reconsider the nature of their relationship in the eyes of God. It isn't rocket science to understand the commandment against sexual relationships outside of marriage, but people sure find a powerful way of wrapping their applications around convenience. But pastoral art nears the complexity of rocket science when it comes to trying to engage in pastoral care of someone who has engaged in lifestyles contrary to God's Word when they are related to the movers and shakers in a congregation.
Sad thing is, my counter for this website will tell me if people found this spot by searching for a specific topic. The most frequent topic that brings people here: trouble with their pastors.
Now why is that?
Is it because pastors don't care about their people? Or is it because they care too much -- are willing to take a stand on the truth for their well-being? Is it because pastors like to offend people and be on the defensive? Is it because pastors want to tick people off and get them to leave the church so there is less money to pay their salary? Or could it have something to do with truth -- some who don't want it or need it? Could it also have to do with team? We talk about how pastors need to be leaders, but leaders need a team. True enough that I think all of us benefit from understanding people, leadership, and communication. But I also think too often something else is going on.
I guess I write this to my brother pastors, but also my brothers and sisters in the flock. Nothing hurts more than to give it your best go, and be blamed when the rains don't come or the soil is sandy, or the concerns of the world come and take away the efforts to plant fruit for God's kingdom. Nothing hurts more than to take a stand on the clear teaching of God's Word and to have one's character attacked because the stand was not popular or ran contrary to someone's lifestyle. And nothing hurts more than to have developed trust and respect for someone and then find them taking advantage of that relationship to undercut you while elevating themselves. It is especially hurtful and dissapointing when you invest so much hope and work into your people to find they are so much like everyone else.
But our Lord reminds us, in your anger do not sin. The most obvious of course is not to give in and seek to return hurt for hurt. For pastors I wonder if sometimes it is also about knowing when it is a sin to remain in a situation where one will only be hurt. One may observe that Jesus didn't run and was willing to die for us. But then one has to balance this with those like Paul who knew when it was time to sneak out of town to minister to another group another day. Dying for a reason is one thing. Getting beat up for no reason is a different thing.
Brothers and sisters of the flock of God, I know there are those pastors who need to grow and there are those who need to go. But please don't too easily cast your pastor from the "grow" pile to the "go" pile. Just like families are there for one another to help each other grow, seek understanding and growth first. And check yourselves. Is the problem truly that your pastor doesn't care, is lazy, mean, or incompetent, or is it that God's Word is stretching you beyond your comfort zone as God seeks to have you grow. If you have a mean spirited hateful pastor, the church is ready to act. If only the same resolve were there when the mean spirit was found in rabid sheep. It can happen. So before you jump to conclusions about the pastor in trouble, look at everything going on, and again talk to him. Find out if he cares, what he cares about, what he thinks about what is going on, and why he is conducting himself as he is. It could be eye opening.
My brother was sharing with me that he kept thinking that he should just turn the other cheek and keep on keeping on. But then I recall this powerful article "Clergy Killers". There are some people, and some groups of people, who get something out of tearing down the very people they call to shepherd them. The article says alot. I think anyone who has trouble with their pastor or who has a pastor in trouble, should read it -- just as a check. I'm not saying pastors are perfect. But I think too often God's people expect them to be miracle workers or people pleasers when in truth they are men called by God to proclaim God's Word as it is written and to minister to people the best they can where they are with what they have to work with.
The article is here: http://jmm.aaa.net.au/articles/8591.htm
Here is a teaser quote for you : "
"Clergy killers are masters of disguise. They can present themselves as pious, active church members who are "only doing this for the good of the church." Naive and gentle ("peace at all costs") parishioners may be deceived by such camouflage. And they typically advocate for the CKs (Clergy Killers) by urging the pastor and church board to be patient, make allowances, or not to misjudge such folks. CKs can convince many that they are raising legitimate issues. And for those who might do battle with them, CKs use bluster, threats, and even terrorism to appear as unstoppable giants. CKs even have allies of opportunity, i.e., parishioners who do not advocate the cause CKs are espousing, but who wish to punish the pastor for their own hidden reasons."(by G. Lloyd Rediger, PhD Directory of Clergy Counseling Services, Wisconsin Council of Churches August 1993 +The Clergy Journal)
(reprinted from my blog "Shepherd's Ponderings")
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